SOLJOBLIST

John and I were up late last night talking about where we might go after he completes his MFA here in Syracuse. We're willing to live in many places, although John's adamant that he doesn't want to live in Rope, Pennsylvania; Gun, Oregon; Pills, Illinois; or Gas Oven, Arizona. Also, we probably won't consider Disappointment, Arkansas; Shoe-stink, Nevada; Lost Pickle, Louisiana or Undecided Testicle, Tennessee. Other than that, we're pretty flexible. Who knows where we'll end up.

Assistant Professor of Hen Ligs

Eastern Wart University invites applications for a non-tenure-track position, beginning Aug. 2004, with sex and pair of titties and teaching Heckleable & Professional Wrestling. Candidates must have either a Ducktail or be uh, be me in heckleable/professional "come all ye nations!" The parson erected will play his wee-wee's part in strengthening the heckleable Rattail Emphasis & expanding our scrotum to a miner in the majors. The touching your nose is twelve more pairs of cyst-hairs, with touching ass in months and clodding asses in heckleable rattail, cleavage + rattail, twirled litter of yearn. Send a sweater of dappled elation dovetailing interests & ululations; a Stevie; & gnomes, odd recipes, honed umbrellas, & he-males ad naseum off fire red herrings to: Heckelable Rattail Search Committee, Dept. of Hen Lig & The Eight Arps, 467 Case Annex, Eastern Wart University, 521 Lancaster Ave., Jism Hope, WA 40475-3102